“Linda’s not on Facebook.” Let me start by saying I don’t dislike Facebook. My friends and family make fun of me for not drinking the koolaid, pointing out all the things I’m missing by not adding my face to the millions of others already there: “It’s a way to re-connect with old boyfriends! See party pics! Watch cat videos! What’s not to like?” If a picture is a worth a thousand words, I’m the throwback who wants the words, the REAL story behind the photo, not just the tagline. And Facebook, bless its pixelated heart, just doesn’t do it for me. I take relationships seriously, even the ones I have with inanimate objects. When PC users looked down their noses at me in the ’90s and said, “Give up the dream,” I just held my Mac laptop a little bit tighter and stayed loyal to this day. But my real relationship mantra revolves around people: I’m a straight single woman, mother, grandmother, magazine writer, devoted yogi and California girl with Midwest values. I covet time with my darling daughter and her family. I can name best friends I’ve had for six months–and for decades. Gays and lesbians populate my life like brightly colored confetti.
I love reservations, back-up plans, statement jewelry, cupcakes with coconut sprinkles, the smell of new leather, pink clouds that snag on the mountains at dawn–and, hello lover–I never met a fabulous high heel I didn’t lust after. What I don’t love is being told what I should do, what I should like, by the teeming masses. “Hello, my name is Linda, and I’m a contrarian in sheep’s clothing.” I’m tea, not coffee. Sorry Starbucks. So those of you looking for photos of my beautiful grandbabies or the video of me singing Poker Face in Puerta Vallarta after one too many tequila shots offered up by a gorgeous Frenchman, that’s not what you’ll find here. But if you want to really SEE an imperfect life via words, marked with plot lines that will shock, make you laugh, bring you to tears or just have you asking, “WTF?!,” this blog’s for you. Do I need Facebook to enhance my already wacky, purposeful world? For now, the answer is no. But you never know about a contrarian. Just keep searching for “linda-finallyonfacebook.com” and see what comes up.